The Occult Emporium : Narrative Treatment
When Carmen finds a Craigslist add for an “affordable, fully-furnished luxury apartment” in the downtown core, she thinks its too good to be true. But after a week of seeing only sketchy, cramped, and bug infested apartments, she is willing to see what this suspiciously low-priced apartment is about. Carmen views the penthouse suite in a building that looked as if it was once an elegant building, several decades ago, and she immediately falls in love with the “vintage vibes” of the spacious, hardwood and brick apartment. But the low price…
When Carmen presses the landlord, he informs her that a murder occurred in the building, and the previous three tenants left suddenly, believing the building is haunted. “Well that explains the cheap price.” But Carmen doesn’t believe in ghosts, or the afterlife, so she signs the lease. “I’d be crazy NOT to take this place!”
The first few days in her new apartment pass without incident, but soon Carmen notices that she can hear strange, disembodied noises. She assumes it’s the neighbors making noise that she can hear through the vents. In the middle of the night, she wakes up and can hear wailing, weird music, and ominous thumping. She scoffs at the previous tenants who were afraid of the noises, and she tries to convince herself that she’s not scared of the heavy thumping coming from the living room. But even she can’t deny its creepy that every time she stands on the large Persian rug, conveniently placed to cover the dark stain on the hardwood floor (“Yep, that’s gotta be a blood stain, or someone dropped a can of maroon paint”), her arm hairs stand on end, and her living room smells faintly of metal and the smell the air has after a storm.
The disturbances increase; she notices that objects move around, even if she hasn’t touched them, her appliances randomly turn on, and her microwave sets everything on fire. Carmen notices that when her TV turns itself on at random hours of the day, it always plays the news. The game of turning off the TV only to come back to her apartment and see that it is turned on makes Carmen doubt her sanity, until she gives up and starts to leave the news on at low volume in the background. The newsreel plays the hot news segment on repeat; the high-profile murder case of a slain socialite, allegedly killed by her sports hero boyfriend.
After Carmen’s groceries mysteriously disappear for the third time, she goes to the SPCA to adopt a cat to hunt down whatever mice or small pest that has been eating her potato chips and sour candies. Though she will never admit it, she also adopts the cat to help keep her sane while she struggles to understand what is happening in her apartment. To her dismay, the SPCA only has one cat, Twinkles, an all black cat that is too stupid and lazy to hunt. But Carmen adopts the cat anyways because she feels bad for it. Once she brings the cat into her apartment, the cat becomes possessed by a mostly good-natured demon. When she tries to pick up the newly possessed Twinkles and kiss him on the head, he hisses and jumps away. Carmen speaks to him in a baby voice, “What’s the matter Mr. Twinkles?” to which Twinkles responds, “What an embarrassing name for a feline.” Carmen is startled and thinks she has for sure lost her mind.
Twinkles, licking his paw aimlessly, speaks to Carmen and reassures her that she isn’t crazy. He explains to her that the phenomena she has been experiencing in her apartment is the result of a small demon infestation. He describes the tear in the fabric of reality, which opened a small gateway into the Netherworld. He entered the tear because he happened to be passing by and he could smell the enticing aroma of Mr. Twinkle’s cat food. He possessed Mr. Twinkles because he’s stupid and its easy for him to override the cat’s consciousness.
“It really is just a tiny tear. Nothing to really worry about, I’d imagine.” He tells her, flicking his tail back and forth.
“Well you’re a demon possessed stray cat and my microwave sets everything on fire and all my snacks are being eaten, so yes, I’d say I have something to worry about.” She responds, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
Carmen’s conversation with Mr. Twinkles is cut short when the volume on the TV suddenly turns all the way up, and the breaking news blasts through the speakers. “SPORTS HERO IS ACQUITTED!”
Her apartment starts shaking violently. The lights flicker, and the air becomes hot. The ground rumbles, and the small tear in reality becomes a massive hole when the demonic spirit of Valentina bursts through the tear and barrels her way into the Upper World, furious and hell-bent to exact her revenge on her murdering boyfriend who was just acquitted.
Carmen, knocked onto the floor from the force of Valentina’s inter-dimensional barrier breaking, realizes she has a problem. Mr. Twinkles says the tear is now the size of the entire Persian rug, and demons are pouring in. Bigger and meaner demons.
The news breaks for a commercial: “Come on down to the Occult Emporium, your one stop shop for all things pagan, supernatural, arcane and occult! Our blowout sale ends tomorrow! 50% off all protection artifacts, wooden stakes, and scented candles!”
“What the Hell,” Carmen thinks to herself, “I could always use more scented candles.”
The Occult Emporium : Scene
Overview:
The Occult Emporium takes place in a rough, industrial city becomes infested with demonic spirits after a brutal murder rips the fabric of reality and creates a gateway to the Netherworld. Carmen, eager to get away from her childhood home after the passing of her father, moves into a luxury penthouse apartment in the Big City. Carmen doesn’t believe in ghosts, or the afterlife, and so she signs the lease to the apartment, despite the landlord’s warning that the past several tenants believe that the apartment is haunted. Little does Carmen know, but her new apartment used to belong to the spoiled and bratty socialite Valentina, who was murdered in the living room by her boyfriend. Valentina, hell-bent on revenge after she discovers that her murderer has been acquitted, bursts through the tear in Carmen’s living room and unleashes an onslaught on demonic spirits into the Upperworld. Carmen forms an unlikely team with a demon-possessed cat, Mr. Twinkles, and a demon-hunter, Diego, to rid her apartment of demons. Carmen trains with Diego in demon combat and capture, and the duo attempt to cull the city’s demon infestation. They eventually must travel to the Netherworld themselves and broker an agreement with Satine, the ruler of the Netherworld, and they must face off against Valentina’s vengeful demon spirit before she destroys the city completely.
Upperworld Consultants in the Netherworld
CARMEN and DIEGO stand awkwardly beside a large demon, BARTY, at the front of a conference room. A small group of small to medium sized demons sit around them, murmuring with excitement. Some demons sit in chairs and some hover above the ground.
BARTY is a large demon with blunt horns and tiny wings that look comically small on his body. He wears an uncomfortably tight shirt; the fabric is pulling and buttons look as though they are about to burst. When he moves, he flies, but he can't fly more than a foot off the ground. BARTY is the Manager in the Telemarketing wing, but he is vying for a promotion to VP of Scams.
BARTY: Good evilness, everyone! As you are aware, we have two very special guests joining us today from the Upper World, and they are here to provide our team with specialized training on human interaction in the 21st century. Most of you have been in the Netherworld for at least a century, and we could all use a little brushing up on our human interaction skills. Now, before we begin, let us each introduce ourselves. Tell us your name, your most evil deed performed as a human, and one interesting fact about yourself. Bernie, why don't you go first.
BERNIE is a small, spritely looking demon wearing an oversized patterned tie.
BERNIE: Hi, I'm Bernie. My human name was Bernard Williams and I was condemned to the Netherworld in 1813 when I was beheaded for treason. Uh, one interesting fact about myself is that I love interior design and if that had been a career choice back in 1810, I would have done that instead of joining Napoleon's war and then defecting!
Polite applause. WILFRED is next, he is a large demon, has bulky shoulders and blunt spines along his back, like a stegosaurus. He speaks with a thick German accent.
WILFRED: Good evilness, my name is Wilfred Wilhelm von Priess and I performed many evil deeds as a human when I served as the Oberführer in the great SS army. One fact about myself is that I’ve recently taken up macramé and I design my own macramé plant hangers. You can purchase them on my Etsy, Demon_Designs_666.
Polite applause. CARMEN and DIEGO look at each other, trying to mask their shock and incredulity. ETHEL is next, she is a medium sized demon and wears a large, gaudy necklace.
ETHEL: Greetings and salutations humans, my name is Ethel, and when I had a human form, I was a maid in the King’s household.
The demons groan audibly, as though they have heard Ethel’s origin story a million times. Frank groans the loudest and throws a paper ball at Ethel.
ETHEL: I’m telling the humans, Frank! Yes, I was a maid in King George the II's household and I was beheaded in front of an audience of over two hundred townspeople for stealing his mistress Henrietta’s jewels. (She delivers this in a boastful, proud voice, and touches her necklace when she mentions Henrietta’s jewels).
BARTY: One interesting fact, Ethel.
ETHEL: Oh, my dears, that was my interesting fact.
BARTY: Okay well on to you, Frank.
FRANK is a small demon with horn-rimmed glasses. He is young, egotistical, and he has a chip on his shoulder because his demon form is very small, and he believes he is more evil than his demon form physically shows.
FRANK: Hello humans, my name is Frank, when I was human I worked under the legendary corrupt politician Boss Tweed, and through my work I aided him in embezzling $25 million dollars from the city of New York. And this was back in 1870. One fact about myself is that I’m the ONLY demon in this office who has any relevant human experience in the business of frauds and scams.
BARTY: Thank you, Frank, for reminding us for the 10th time today that you are the only one in this office who has human experience in the art of fraud, let’s make that the last time you bring that up today, shall we?
BARTY motions to the next demon, CAROLINE, who is a smallish demon with long horns that curl and descend down her back, like hair. She speaks with a high, squeaky voice.
CAROLINE: Hi everyone, I’m Caroline and when I was a human I became filthy, filthy rich by marrying powerful old men to secure their fortunes, and then killing them off and making it look like an accident. The detectives were after me for years, but I was never caught (she winks at Diego). I love to watch human reality TV, especially Jersey Shore (demons snicker). You can laugh all you want, but it keeps me up to date with the human lingo. None of you even knew what a “millennial” was until I told you!
BARTY: (To CARMEN and DIEGO) As you can see, our team is a diverse mix of age and experience, and we could all use a brush up on techniques for dealing with the 21st century human. Why don't you both tell us a bit about yourselves - what do you do in the Upper World and what is your favorite evil pass time?
CARMEN AND DIEGO look at each other sideways. CARMEN is speechless. DIEGO stares into the audience for a beat and then dives in to the situation with energy and enthusiasm.
DIEGO: My name is Diego, and Carmen and I are here as special Upper World consultants to help improve Pandemonium Inc’s human interface. I guess my favorite evil pass time is sending money to support the neo-Nazi movement in North America, which has been growing steadily.
WILFRED cheers. The demons stare at Diego, completely enraptured. CARMEN stares ahead awkwardly, unsure of how to proceed. She speaks hesitantly.
CARMEN: Hi, I’m Carmen, and I’m a…consultant. In terms of my favorite evil pastimes…um…well, I used to egg my neighbor’s house when her dog pooped on our lawn.
BARTY: Aww that's hardly evil at all Carmen! You must be more evil - it's a prerequisite for being here!
CARMEN: I also...torture animals.
Applause. DIEGO immediately dives in and begins to write on the whiteboard.
DIEGO: We call this workshop HUMANS 101, and let’s start by going over some common terms and language you will encounter when you interact with the 21st century human.